I was 'merrily', and I use the word in the style of Mr Daniels, wandering out of the bar at the Rampant Lion Rally when I came across some overly comfortable looking blokes on a comfy sofa in the hall, turned out to be Jim, Dave and Ernie from the Leyland Eagles, a club I knew of but had never been to their rally.

As is the way of it, we got blethering, mostly about Dave's antics of filling his Goldwing with diesel, don't even ask !, the long and short of it ended in them convincing me that I had nothing better to do than come down to their rally. I tried all the usual excuses like "I'm washin' the dog" or "I'm ironing the hardtail" but they were having none of it.

In an attempt to delude myself into believing that I had a sembelance of organisation about me I set about sorting out my panniers on wednesday night only to be distracted by an unruly Alsatian wanting her dinner. The dog would make me most uncomfortable later. I met up with "Early start" Watty at the gas station along with a couple of other trikes, we set off for the open and hideously boring M74 drag south, Watty was struggling to make 55 on his 1000 wing engined trike, I wasn't up for the tardy pace so I arranged to meet up later and took off. The meeting point was Forton services, I had arranged to 'vooz' me 'rendies' with some Gobshyte RC mates from the south ............... no body about, other than an annoying woman trying desparately to flog me a credit card that I don't need and don't want, finally I filled her form in order to shut her the F*ck up, so if your name is michael main and you live at 1 main st, maintown, County Main and you get a credit card, sorry :-).

So I wait, wait and wait a bit more... right, time to chase folk, I phone Watty to discover he's at Southwaite with what he suspects is a blown engine on his trike and is awaiting on recovery, bugger, he's got me ticket !!!. Julia is at Forton on the northbound side with a sick GSX750 that has contracted a bad dose of disintery and the motor has shat it's load all over the car park. John arrives with my ticket and we head off for the rally site somewhere between Preston and Blackpool, Curley who is local (er, to what ?), is our guide, who can't explain how to get to the rally site, just that he'll know it when he sees it !.

Finally I get to the site, good field beside a pub, result!. Well, would've been a result had "Landady Avarice of the third deadly sin" not put a quid on all the food, fifteen pence on a pint followed by another ten pence on a pint on saturday, well, we are, after all apparently, just dumb bikers who wouldn't notice !! Sign-in, tent up, to discover that the hungry Alsatian which had distracted me when packing had meant I'd left half me shit at home, roll mat, torch, luckily, not my Jack :-) This might all seem like a bad start to a rally, not in the least, well, not after I'd cracked open the Jack and the rest of the crew had hobbled in on broken machines and we commenced partying. I understand that there was in fact music on Friday night, would you credit it, I thought there was other noise in the marquee above the talking and consumption of much alchohol. This of course is pityful excuse for partying and not paying attention :-).

Saturday afternoon's silly games with spacehoppers, brides, grooms in hula skirts and handcuffs started of well, didn't it ?, no ! it was always down at the level of complete chaos and much hilarity. Millenium BC came out of it well with "Coach" winning the blokes entries and "Deb's" for the ladies. Of course there was no cheating going on whatsoever in amongst the pile of bodies, honest.

As the evening progressed were treated to 'Rolling Thunder', the pre-requisite for joing the band was to have long hair and take yourself very seriously. This of course was balanced by the 'drinking', 'fluffy bunnies' and 'gettin nekkid' games, well you know how it is. Watty made a brave effort of twelve marshmallows in his gob and could still say 'fluffy bunnies' only to be outgobbed by a lassie, who managed thirteen !!!!. She later claimed that her man was very happy, no shit ! The redeeming feature of the 'gettin nekkid' game was that Watty didn't enter! I'm not sure the assembled crowd could have handled that, Besides, Patrick Moore hadn't forecast a total eclipse of the stage, not that I'm casting aspertions on Watty's fine physique you understand.

'The Truth' finished the night off, well musically speaking, for several 'over inebriated' souls the night had finished much earlier, the local council bloke did allow an overun, how nice of the nanny state to allow us to have a slightly longer 'good time'. A great time was had, thanks to the Leyland Eagles for a great party, another regular for the diary methinks. On returning home I emailed Jim to get the winners list, coz I'm usually to gassed to write things down at the time, holding a camera is challenge enough thanks. The list is semi complete as Jim was busy with other more important things.

Due to irregular and unexpected sunspot activity affecting the orbit of Venus , trophy information will not be accompanied by a responsible adult nor have the pleasure of being associated with any particular photie in this write up. Oldest Rider - John, T998 VCK Youngest Legal Rider - Eddie From Perverts In Leather, aged 17yrs 3 Weeks Longest Distance Male - Ian From Gobshytes RC, 304.6 Miles Longest Distance Female - Aga From Poland 2023 Miles Best Undressed Male - Dave With The Band Between The Lines Best Undressed Female – Cherbyl ?, that’s what she said. First Prebook - Ken Walton Best Rat - Nellie Best Club Runner Up - Scavangers Best Club Turnout - Gobshytes RC Best Custom - Charlie From Moobobs Who Still Needs To Get His Trophy Best In Show - Q857GFY Best Chop - N4TH4N Best Streetfighter - Y98ETY Best Trike - Q658 KUA Best Cruiser - YUO4WCK word & pics al@bikers1.com

Tragically, a few days after the rally, John Bell, one of the founding members of the Eagles died aged 77, our thoughts go out to his family and all those who knew him.