FURRY BOOTS RALLY 2006 The Tart’s Version “Fer Aboots?”…..well in my case only about 30 odd miles away, so the original plan was a leisurely lie in on the Friday, set off around lunch time and still be ready to party by mid afternoon. Humph…..all good plans etc…saw the weather forecast.. loadsa wet stuff falling by mid morning, so plan B. Set off around 9:00am. Good idea…grey skies, dry roads….until 3 miles from site. Pitter patter on the visor….Noooooooooooo this is not on the agenda! I purposely copied wot the raindance lady said….Hellooo!....10:30ish you said dammit!

Still, on the upside of arriving so early is there is absolutely no-one around, and free choice of the best pitching/parking place. So, half an hour later and one tent erected and soggy clobber appropriately strewn around…what next? Well, gas stove on and a brew, followed by the sobering thought, “Bugger, now have several hours of twiddling thumbs time til someone else appears”.  Aha! I know….the missed lie in….yep, straight into the sleeping bag, radio on and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Woken a few hours later by the gennie reverberating loudly…but hey that’s a good sign eh? And I’m now smugly feeling refreshed and as bouncy as a tigger with a new spring, ready to keep going til the wee small  hours.

Early Friday evening was the usual round of saying hello and hugs to people not seen since last year. Being one of the rare breed that neither needs or enjoys getting totally ratarsed and bleutered in order to have a good time, I  find it immensely amusing watching others do it on my behalf… and you can betcha sweet bootie there were plenty wanting to volunteer for the job

….so as the evening unfolded the usual reprobates could be found beating a well worn path from bar to marquee, in an ever increasing wobbly and falling down way. The early doors band (Snap Dragon) played pretty much to themselves but did a good job nevertheless, and DJ Womble did his own wombling good playing of suitable loud  rockin’ an rollin’  in between

2nd band of the night (Easily Led) and old hands at the rally gig stuff…got the place on its feet and jumpin’, even with the guitarist in his dirty work overalls, and despite a lot of wet leather and  damp  lookin’ folk. The cardinal rule being….once the tent is pitched …party, party regardless, and to hell with the consequences, at least until Sunday morning anyway.

Like most rallies…there are always one or two highlights or individual shining stars worth a mention. Mine was Charlie from Hair ‘O’ the Dog RC (Dundee). Took great delight in telling me what a snip his bike was fer its year/mileage,   yadda yadda…..only to discover the immobiliser took an instant dislike to damp weather…and did what it said on the tin…totally immobilised the bike all weekend! Even the breezier, drier,  weather that we had for sat/sun made no difference. Finally removing the offending article altogether made no difference. Cussin’ and swearin’ and generally throwing a hissy fit made no difference.  Threatening to make it BBQ fodder made no difference. There it was, in all its bright blue Kwaka magnificence…..parked up and going nowhere…..until the recovery vehicle arrived Sunday morning to take it home!! That’ll teach ya Charlie boy for swearing allegiance to Suzi’s and then defecting to save a few quid! The other little gem of interest (for those who know the people concerned) Jake has finally asked Annabel to make an honest man of him..can hardly believe it, they have only been together nearly 8 years! AND apparently he was sober when he muttered the immortal words. So, congrats you guys, well chuffed for you both. Did overhear one guy had managed to drop and trash his bike on the way in, luckily he was only hobbling a bit and no doubt smarting a bit too…bad luck mate.

Saturday  afternoon entertainment consisted of a tug of war, which I only arrived at as it was finishing, and then later on the Bushwhacker Trial. Now anyone who was in attendance at last year’s rally will know what this consisted of. For those not aware, it firstly requires  6 contestants who had previously been coerced into volunteering by  fair means or foul. The first clue for these poor unsuspecting souls must surely have been the bottles of water and a huge dustbin complete with liner sat in easy firing line. The rules were simple: A series of covered plates (5 in all) would be placed in front of them. When given the order they had to remove the lid and consume as quickly as possible the contents on the plate. Is the penny beginning to drop? Getting the idea yet? Judging by the varying looks of horror and disgust on their faces with each tasty yumyum course, consuming earth worms, maggots, fish eyes/bones,  tinned dog food and sheeps eyes(albeit on a pretty bed of lettuce) as a finale, would not normally be their first choice on the menu. Each contestant got a point if they ate and swallowed each course completely (even if they did spew it up seconds later into the barfin’ bin). The winner was the one with most points at the end. Looking around there were a few onlookers close to needing the bin too! Never realised what a risky business it can be watching other folk eat. Could catch on as a weight reducing effect…my appetite disappeared for several hours anyhoo.
	And so, onto the first band of the evening.  Was made up of  Bon Jovi wannabes( in look/dress and posing ‘I wanna be a famous rock star’ )… ..and to be fair they were above average for a young band…including some own written stuff,  but needed to get the whole thing tighter in terms of sound balance, and a better name (Estrella??....apparently a place in Spain) but I reckon a biker rally is about as good as it gets for teething on…it’s either sink or swim, and they were clearly determined to play every song in their repertoire,  if only to prove how many they knew.
Mid evening and raffle time, along with trophies….…pity hardly anyone  present to receive said awards…probably all outside on nicotine overload or alcohol intake...so no piccies..sorry. Main band for the night…. Joe’s Band. Now anyone having seen this band from Fife before will know they rock! Some brilliant fretnfinger work from the lead axeman, plus superb vocals…and, well, just a damn good cover band. The dance floor never emptied for the rest of the night until the ‘final’ song and ‘last orders’ announcement, and my tigger spring  still had lots of bounce left. Sunday was bright, sunny and very windy, but dry for going home.  What a fantasidoby weekend. I’m still bouncing like a bouncy thing. Mucho big heaps of praise for the organisers of this brilliant rally. So much hard work, nothing left to chance, and every amenity available without detracting from feeling like a biker’s weekend. Well done guys, see ya next year! Word & Pics by TT(Diane) 'n a big thanks for them fae Al :-)