A strange and somewhat disturbed character with delusions of Spartacussness appeared in the forum adverrtising a rally which was described , and I quote "FUN, FROLLICS AND FARM ANIMALS THE BEST BANDS IN THE NORTH EAST OVER TEN IN TOTAL AND ACES ACE ROCK DISCO FOR YOUR OTHER ENTERTAINMENT BIKE SHOW CAR SMASHING BOUNCY INFLATABLE THINGS THE YIPPE TENT IS BACK RUBBER WELLIES AND VELCRO MITTS TATOOIST "

This 'appealing' description from 'Stonedski Kev' so called coz his name is Kev, had me heading for the Penines in the land of Durhamshire, County Stormin'. Heading for Stormin' doon the '68' but repeating to myself in my head "right turn at Kiln Pit Hill, right turn at Kiln Pit Hill", I had to repeat it quite loudly so that I could here it over all the other voices in my head. Moments after the right turn I cross the cattle grid and observe the helpful sign 'Area of Outstanding Fuckallity'. Indeed I was either driving on the moon or had made a wrong turn and ended up on Rannoch Moor.

Eventually the road does plummet (literally) into the wee village of Stanhope, which you immediately leave either by the ford or the long way round, I hadn't brought me wellies nor 'Ewan McGregor' so I opted for the scenic route. A few uphill 1 in 2 hairpins later and I arrive at the farm gate, which you have to open and close behind you to keep the weekends co-habitees in the field. Oh and the sheep too. The "Empty the Barrel " is a charity do in aid of 'Tiny Lives' which was set up to help support the special care baby unit at the RVI Hospital in Newcastle by purchasing specialist items not provided by the NHS. Drinking in a good cause can't be bad.

This 'do' is run by the Stonedskis, which appears to be a loose collection of wobbly components strewn around a field, consisting of some familiar faces from Dragonslayers, Shite Shags and various other characters of questionable drinking habits. I did the usual two rounds of the WWWATF (world wrestling with a tent federation, it's big in Latvia y'know) and headed straight to the bar and then to seek out the one they call 'Stonedski Kev' .

Bearing absolutely no resembelance to Kirk Douglas I was forced to question either the quality of Kev's bathroom mirror or in deed his sanity. It would transpire later however that there was in fact nothing wrong with his bathroom mirror.

It was around this point that I noticed that the wind was picking up .................................................................

Get the hint ???

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