I then needed a Donor Frame for the Chop as I didn't wan't the Q Plate nitemare,so after much searchin about (a few phone calls actually)i found a suzuki 650 frame an Logbook for £50 (shop around u can get em cheaper)now the reg year was fine as in 1981 an the reg number was well cool as WAR 951W (pretty apt considering what i'd let myself in for an also the recent News story in sum shithole abroad) so that was sorted .

On the monday i took it into work an cut off the major parts needed er yer like jus the headstock then took the bugga home ,now here really is a stroke of luck i had a 650 headstock an a GSXR 1100 front end an guess wot the yokes dropped straight in an the bearings were the same "Result this is gonna be nice an easy" er....how could i know wot lay ahead. Come that fatefull day an the bandit was stripped to the bone bare chassis an the wiring (Oh no that thing more later)loom carefully removed. thanks to my other half all the bits except the engine were stored in the bedroom to keep em warm an cosy like.Then on Oct 27th 2002 the build began.

I loaded everythink into my trusty Olkvov an drove round to Jim's dads Garage were everything was unloaded an the rough scketch was handed over to him an a few words were exchanged,ho hum nuthink to do now but wait. A week later "can u come over an look at sumthink Pug" says Jim ok i'll be there in a min or two opens up Garage Door

and "fukme"...................its not excatcly like the Picture isit Jim,well no it ain't i've decide to use 30mm tubing an its 6mm thick so it'll be really strong an thick an well i think the exhaust looks cool inside the frame an i've dun sumthin wicked to the rear end an an an.............hmmm ok but it better be amazin..........actually a week later after the intial shock it looked kinda wicked an really different so i were pleased those bluddy forwards were a right pain though caused no end of hassle gettin em to fit an work made by sum Company called "Jardine" So about 4 weeks later we had a rollin chassis


Notice the Polished wheels well i do hate polishing but i didn't wan't an all black bike so after ringin around yet again i found a Bloke near London who could do the Job Quick (3 days actually) an fit sum new tyres for a decent price. so after they were re-united with the bike all new bearings were fitted, actually that's a nice easy job (honestly) only took an hour to do the whole lot then the engine was re-fitted an the forks an Exhaust ok we jus sort of rigged the rear pipe section on to see how the Exhaust looked it seemed ok jus a bit of cuttin a shuttin to get it to fit like.Then Jim went on holiday for 3 weeks so thumb twiddling time came about.

so fast forward to 2002 i'm sittin there thinkin about Ownin a hardtail Chop,well a few Friends said i'm mad (thanks Nick espcially...not) but me mind was made up so first port of call was to Jim,Jim's the bloke who did it yer honour honest he made me do it.

Actually if you read 100%Biker he's had a few bikes featured in there such as Nightprowler an Threesome an more recently Hell's Bells so i at least knew 2 things 1)he can Build a Frame an 2)he can Weld I can't I have enuf trouble wiv a soldering iron.so after sounding him out (quite a lot actually) it was decided to do the dirty deed to the poor Bandit an break it up for parts.

Now heres were i had a stroke of luck in my mind i wanted an Upside Down front end as i'd already roughed out an idea on me puta as to wot it would look like. amazin wot u can do wiv a cheap(as in free)puta program innit.

Well were do I start there were a few motivations for Building this Chop/nitemare one of em was down to the Kent C*ntstalbary as i was pulled over one day and told that this was for a saftey lecture after a 10 second lecture out came the little book an it's "your exhaust is illegal an this an that an so on .......hrumphhh some saftey lecture more like we need some revenue so a Bikers an Easy target as were a few others thinking the same.

Fast forward to a little later in the year an its the Same story again fed up with all this wonderfull attention i thought about sellin the Bike an gettin sumthing older i.e anything pre 1984 coz thats when the shit hit the fan as far as rules an M.O.T regulations go so I hatched a plan. One of the ideas in my head is I also wanted a Basic no frills Chop so no fancy paint as it'll be carryin me the tent sleepin bags Beer an oh yeah occasionaly the Missus.

So it had to be sumthin simple like..............ho well........never mind.

Ok so here we have sittin all innocent like the poor Donor bike.bought in 1996 as an import i paid £4200 for it new and it is a fun fast reliable Bike,so why am i breakin it into a thousand odd pieces....well read on coz from here on in it gets messy.

Another reason I sat down one day an thought "fukme" i've been riding bikes almost 25 years well since Dec 1977 blimey i am Old. Having discovered the joys an sorrows of owning 40 Odd Bikes in that short time i decided I need sumthin different a bit like i did 15 odd years ago,when i then built a 1100 kwak streetfighter.

In those days there wern't many 440lb 126BHP(at the Back wheel)1100 kwaks about that took 18months an at the end of it i swore i'd never ever go through that again god that was a nitemare .Still got the kwak its a bare frame at the mo maybe one day.....er there again after the Chop probalby not.

Now my girlfriends Bruvver needed anutha bike as his missus wanted to get on the back again(ooer)but he had this GSXR1100 Streetfighter wiv an R1 single seat unit.

Easy peasy we said u giv me sum Money an yer front forks,Mudguard,Yokes an i'll give yer me Frame,Bodywork,Forks an suchlike. Next up i went to see Russ an Mat over at R & B Breakers (01634 710399)an went shoppin after murdering my Visa Card (since cut up as i'm at its limit)i came away wiv a Bates Halogeon Headlight bottom mount 5 1/4",twin cats eye tailights n a petrol cap,the Tank an fuel tap arrived the following week King Sportster. then came the wot do i fukin use for foot rests time ok i've never owned or ridden a hard tail an now i'm thinkin of forwards.

"Russ u got any universal forward controls mate" er no but i know a man that may Ok so they were supposed to go on the type of " u meet the nicest people on a H***a"bike but fukit they'll fit mine (eventually)an as an aside i managed to order matchin rear pegs for her indoors (ooh his an hers suit u sir)an near matchin handlebar Grips(gettin worried yet i was)Next up was a trailer mudgaurd an it were dead cheap like about £9(a tip her folks though get it strenghtened lots first before u use it ok...trust me i know)an then i decide to go completley mad an buy all new bearings job lot wheels,sprocket carrier an headstock about £80 from a bearing manufacturer.

after Xsmas were over an my Credit card was sufferin even more we needed to sort the battery box an suchlike so a local firm was entrusted to build the stainless batter bos an jig the Exhaust like thats also stainless called a mate an got the bike taken down to the engineering firm to measure the box an sort the Exhaust .Some 5 fukin weeks later an the Engineering firm had finished the pipe an box the pipe looked great but the box looked like shit an i were in2 minds to tell em to do it again but time were gettin on an i needed it for the CW Birthday Bash in april an as this were 7 weeks away i bit the bullet an took the bluddy thing away .

Back to jime an final Welding an thumbsuckin as to were the Brake resevoir was to go an the mastercylinder an other things sum 12 hours later an all were dun an dusted the bike were stripped it to a bare Frame again an all bits except the frame mudgaurd an tank taken back to the bedroom for safe an cosy keepin like.One week later the freshley painted frame tank mudgaurd were picked up an put into the living room just to make things intresting the paint wern't completley dry an we jus had got a Puppy that were intrested in explorin a scratchin things an suchlike cue large stick an threats of death if anything happened to the paint while it were stored in the Living room 2 an i mean 2 sleepless nights later the final build could begin in the garden in Nick's Tent(cheers mate honest i've looked after it an there ain't a single grease mark onit honestly).So on saturday morning the Tent were put up an all the bits were transfered to the tent.

Me Bruvver turned up jus in time so we then carried the Engine carefully between us in to the Garden(from here on in things go tits up)as we carefully put the engine down we forgot about the bloody oil cooler an promptly crushed the fukin thing.!!!!!!!!!!!! D'oh,then antha m8 Neal who had been shoppin in London all week sourcin stainless bolts for me turned up to help wiv the "electrics".Now there was one small problem in that one of the Bolts holding the Exhaust on i;e an exhaust stud nearest the camchain tunnel so not easy accessible u c aswell had siezed so had to be removed first b4 puttin the engine in to the frame ho well yer rite well it wouldn't go an after usin all kinds of seizure removal compound an a gator which is kinda like a stud remover, an that broke up but did remove the head of the bolt quite nicley argghhhhhhhhh..........

it were down to Removin said bolt wiv carefull drilling oh an its stainless aswell "B'stard"(tip here boys an Girls use coppaslip on any stainless bolts threaded into alloy as the 2 react toghether an cause the grief that happened here,so sum 5 hours later oh an 18 drill bits aswell that's sorted except now its very dark an i'm really pissed off.time for a beer or two. the next day on me own now as everyone is busy u c so i carefully lie the engine on its side an lay the frme over it after much sweatin an cursin an a few chips an scratches its in the frame a few bolts later an all seems well,well except the rear engine bolt is about 25 mm (1" in old imperial)too fukin short ho well yet anutha job to do again next up is the back wheel an after 3 attempts i finally sort out which way the spacer go an that's sorted nicley the front end goes in easily(worried i was),

then as i try an fit the pushbike speedo the wires on the sender unit part company so that is promptly binned argghhhhh.An now we have the makins of a Bike at last dead chuffed wiv my bike buildin skills at this point so on wiv it an next up is the right side forward assembley an rear peg hmm this is lookin good innit,oh an to save bendin the rear mudgaurd/seat perch i put the sissy bar on

...............er yer rite now at this point the bike had been in the tent almost 2 weeks an still wern't fired up oh an i tried to source an Oil Cooler a Breakers said yep m8 got one of those £90 all in you'll hav it wed.wed came an went so did thurs an friday so on saturday nope that's fukin it ring up said breakers an get the brains of Oxford on the line give up after a pointless conversation an ring back on monday speak to the dikhead who sold it too me er we ain't got one i better refund yer money.argghhhhhhhhhhh.............

a quick trawl thrugh Bikersweb an i find anutha up north ok you send it to this address an i'll give yer your money.now i mean come on how hard is it to send an Oil Cooler i've sent u an E-mail wiv my home addy on it in block capitols so there u go a week later no oil cooler yet again............

oh i c so the post office have tried to deliver it but because u put the wrong address or in yer past life you were dsxylec an can't write to clearly its now in portsmouth an unless u get yer arse in to gear in 3 months they'll dispose of it..........ohh how funny.............not...

step forward Just Bandits yep got one you'll have it on Weds so he addressed it to were i work an guess wot it turned up...blimey !!!!!!....meanwhile mr Famous i can do anythink wiv electrics Can't ho well i'll collect it an sort it myself ( i hope)........after anutha 3 day nitemare an lots of pleas on the bikerweb forum i finally find sumbody who speaks my kinda language an puts thing nice an simple to boot thank you Al of bikers1 fame.After much more fukin shoutin an suchlike about it finally fires up hurrah at last blimey its a bit smokey in this tent innit,then it dies ho well back to the drawing board carefull plannin later an its runnin again in fact it ran for half an hour sounded sweet aswell,meanwhile i go out to pick up the seat an the bloke says well its what u asked for but i think it looks weird bring it back if your not happy.............

hmm he were rite i fuked up again an the followin nite he started again (thanks to John the Saddleman).3 more wasted days later an i'm sittin on it seats on bars .er fuk me that's a bit of a reach innit...........hmmmm more new bars later that's better so on the saturday me Bruvver comes over again an we set to wiv the electrics tyding it up an carefully puttin the Battery,Coils,starter solonoid,fuse box 2 switches, horn,an remaining loom into said batterybox fuk me that's a squeeze innit says he yer but it'll fit an it does last bit in is the Ignitor box now this wunderfull bit of kit don't like hard knocks shocks or most things it seems an u hav to look after it otherwise Mr Suzuki has to beg for anutha Virgin sacrfice an u need about £350 to buy one aswell.so look after the bluddy thing i've now got 2 of em jus in case.so i put the Seat on turn the Key an Bang an fuse goes try again anutha fuse an anutha an anutha............

time for a beer or 2 i think.The Following Day yes i'm not too well i'll be in Tommorrow thanks guv cya.........out comes the electrics an multimeter an check an double check everything anutha day later an the fault is traced to the tailights .Eh !!!!!

rip out loom again re-build it except now the lighting circuit an ignition circuit are seperate get the Bike to run again wires hangin out everywhere hmm its goin ok now put the lot back togehter an no sparks.uh.............!!!!!!!

trace the fault to the signal genorator the wires sliced fix that an hey presto it runs an the seat is on an everythings workin its chargin aswell run round garden screamin its alive !!!!!!!...........roll outta Tent first time its seen daylight since oct2002 an guess wot the chain is fouling the Battery box take bike back to tent remove electrics an box coz its stainless hacksaw says yer rite sum hope out wiv angle Grinder an cut hole in box ,re build electrics in holey battery box an start it again yippie its ok, roll down steep incline in garden onto pathway get long sufferin girlfriend to get helmet,put on helmet ride 50 freet an it dies try starter no sparks eh.......!!!!!! get multimeter 0.2amp in battery eh.....!!!!!!!! think of slashin wrists push bike in garden call neighbours to help push back up hill an into tent B'stard thing............

The Final Day........ re-check electrics nuthin wrong there Batery is re-charged.......hmmm its runnin fine again(heard that before)roll outta Tent again down hill again outside again Helmet on again ride up rode a first.......Yippie straight round to Mat An Russ at R & B both impressed wiv bike, coffeee an then off to M.O.T it passes yippie back rond to Mat An Russ turn off bike........except i'm holdin keys in hand an the starter is whirrin away rip off seat pull out starter solonoid it stops, tap the b'stard thing wivout keys it whirrs away again anutha tap an it stops pull out all the loom an check for wires touchin an such like decide to wrap solenoid in Rubber to isolate the bloody thing it works fine (order new one jus in case though) gentle bumble round block wiv Giirlfriend on back she's happy so there you happy ending

..except.............well the following day get up grab keys for bike push outside turn key no electrics oh shit not again,multi meter out check battery again 1.7 amps fukit jump start from car it runs fine check chargin circuit thats ok aswell .......hmmm......notice lights are on oh i know what i'd dun i'd clipped the light switch last nite an killed the battery again(mental note to self turn switches other way so if they flick it'll be off instead)order new Battery as this one has been through a hard time i would say its been through a WAR but........

the rear mudguard split the on the way back with the Girlfriend on board tore rite off the frame(oopps) then the front rubbermount split open still that were teethin troubles wern't it fixed that little bit of trouble an well its now dun its first one day show 67 miles in one day (wow) nuthin fell off an i took it to work on monday(30/3/03) well i had jus been off work for a week coz i were sick honest :-) one thing though never ever again not ever will i build anutha bike that's this is the last....so far that is Oh an Pat from 100% Biker want's to feature it in the magazine that's of course if i make it to the Rally my first of this year an its first ever april 11th -13th.................Breakdown recovery u bet yer arse i'm gonna get it jus in case

the following day a day i should have been at work(sorry guv i don't feel well i'll try an get in tommorrow)I started to make up my Brake an Clutch lines from a shitload of stainless hose i had jus lyin around i new i'd use it one day ,i'd decided from day one that i didn't wan't any switchgear on the bars at all an no wires,ok except the headlight an pushbike speedo thing (bluddy M.O.T requirements)so i plumbed in a hydraulic switch that'd operate the rear brakelight well it is a 1981 reg bike so it only need 1 brakelight switch that went in ok an i also mounted the resevoir behind the engine an the slave unda it of course bleedin the thing took 3 days due to leaks an other not so nice things like loadsa bubbles an air being b'stards to get out an such like still it got there eventually,

the front brakes bled nicley as did the clutch thank god after carefully movin the bike about i finished up the footrest assemblys on the left the Gearchange had to be modifyed as it clouted the engine (D'oh) still that seemed simple an i were also tackling the wiring loom(that wern't).Back to R & B Breakers Mat gve me a Number of sumbody to do the seats went along explained carefully how it should look an left him to it meanwhile back at home 2 1/3rds of the loom lay on the floor as not needed but uknown to me Suzuki had a cunnin plan to stop all my fun now as there may be a few toe-rags out there usin computers i ain't gonna tell yer on here but if u can convince me why u need to know wot i'm on about i'll e-mail yer the details besides it took me 3 days to suss the b'stard thing out myself.anyway i still had no sparks an my brain was full up(please can i go home now i've had enuf)so once again usin friends i found a so called electrical engineer an he said no problem