This special supplemented additonal andbuttooalsoaswellas article was
inspired by a recent workshop experience in "McDoughnut’s Emporium of Much
Bangin’ And Weldin". A mate came in sporting a black and purple Z1000J of
dubious history and porridge and bran flake wiring. The customer required a little
assistance in adjusting the chain and some other small odd & ends. Upon further
inspection it was discovered, to the cry of "Whitthefucksgoinonhere"
"Huvyeseenthis" and "Ferchrisakeshowthefucksthatnobrokeyet" . The
offending article upon which the aforesaid exclamations where directed at transpired to be
a chain upon which, where there used to be little right angles on the inside/topside of
the links had now evolved into small curvy bits resembling a particular sharp right hand
bend on the A82 near the B&B which the owners had the crassness to defame by painting
cerise pink!
Fig1. Damage caused by misaligned rear wheel cutting a 2mm step from the inside of rear
sprocket.
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Should you come upon such a problem again the following procedure may be used to cure
it. The solution to the problem is to move the rear wheel 2mm to the left. It was
decided that this could be achieved in one of four ways.
1 Park the back adjacent to a suitable
reinforced brick wall and drive a JCB at the rear wheel at a speed of exactly 12.765mph
braking to a speed of 2.354mph some 4.3 nanoseconds prior to impact.
2 Go home and have tea and scones. Real Butter of course.
3 Take the 2mm washer presently on the right hand side of the wheel and
put it on the left.
4 Remove the rear sprocket and fashion a spacer from a suitable
material such as the coating from the claws on the rear paws of a 3 week old Mongolian
Tiger Vole.
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The first two options were considered to be unrealistic due to resource
management. i.e One might drop one’s scone whilst drivin the JCB causing
consternation amongst the owner. As jam can prove difficult to remove from upholstery,
especially since the JCB was furnished with a "dogstooth" woven polycrapamide
covered driving seat.
It was decided to try option 3, however, as was suspected, the tyre
then came into more contact with the passing chain than might have been desired. Unless of
course you wished to take up the much belittled sport of tyre shaving.
By a process of elimination Option 5 or woz that 2, no, 4 woz ripe for
implementation. The more observant amongst you will notice that due to a lack of Tiger
Voles in Scotland and the bus service to Ulan Bator being so poor, we opted to use Baco
Foil
